say nice things about me cause i'm gone...

so, yesterday i was listening to good ol' james taylor and "carolina in my mind" made me want to cry. a song has never really taken me so vividly back to a specific moment before, but in my mind i really was at unc for a brief moment:

sitting on the bleachers in the football stadium in a bright blue cap and gown in between stacy and megan. ronda was right there, too. and ashley baldwin. jenna boon was like 2 rows behind me, but i hardly knew her then...only knew that i would know her. the clefhangers were singing "carolina in my mind" and i had my arms thrown around the people that i loved so much trying not to cry and trying to figure out what life would be like without that place...

it's hard to be away from home right now. that is a reality. it would be hard enough to not be with my family and friends on christmas, but right now i really miss st. marks and my church family. i want to be there to greive with them. i love and miss you all.

and yet, i am really happy here. and i am not sure what my life would be without these months that have passed and the ones to come:
marie, cassandra, jenna and steph: who spur me on with love, truth, joy and grace each day (and duh, dave, too) plus, they all make me laugh my face off.
the la plata chicas who fill me with so much joy and have taught me so much about serving and loving.
words like: tranquilo, re, copado, re copado, capa, tener ganas...i feel like you can just say a lot more with them...i'm not sure what they even mean in english.
what would i be eating if i wasn't eating empanadas like everyday of my life?
everything is funnier here...cab rides, seeing naked people in the street covered with eggs and flour and whatever else their friends and families could think of to throw at them, the incessant "hooonk, hooonk, honk honk honk..."

"today is the greatest day i've ever known
can't live for tomorrow
tomorrow's much too long...
can't wait for tomorrow
i might not have that long..."
-smashing pumpkins

do we believe today's the greatest day we've ever know? i hope i'm living for today, not for yesterday, not for tomorrow. i'm really trying to focus on who God is right now, on what things give us hope.peace.joy.love...

ya esta...

love, jess