just some random thoughts

ok, so today i just feel like blogging. i just really haven't felt like it in a while. so much has been going on that my mind has just been constantly whirling, whirling, whirling. mostly i have been concerned about my job...whether i should stick it out, whether i should interview other places...it's a constant source of internalized stress for me, but for some reason something in my gut says stick it out a little while longer.

somedays, when i have my "nice face" on, i end up being a counselor more than a job hunter. yesterday was one of those days:

first, i met richard. may 6th was the anniversary of the day his daughter died. she was born and died in the same day because the mother literally kept running her stomach into the corner of a cabinet until it hurt the baby. on purpose. so richard's eye's fill up with tears as he tells me this story. and so do mine. and he tells me that he kind of lost it after his daughter died, but he's been sober since august and he just really needs a second chance. i felt really blessed to be able to give him one.

then i met yenny. she is beautiful. 25 years old. came to the united states 6 months ago. i asked her if the little girl with her was her daughter. she said, no, that's my neice. my children are still in honduras. ALL FOUR OF THEM. well, jessica starts to almost cry AGAIN because she just saw the movie "Under the same moon" on saturday night (which was sooooo good...please go see it). and it's about a mom who has to leave her son in mexico to come to the united states and it will rip your heart out. but to have someone in front me who was really living that story out...i mean, that will really rip your heart out. she saw i was upset and said, it's hard, but we're okay...like she was reassuring me. oh my gosh, i am such a baby.

so then vanessa came in. she's my favorite. she and her boyfriend, jesse, were the first people i interviewed by myself back in february and she comes to visit me pretty much everyday when she's not working. she's about 22 years old, new to the states, and newly pregnant. well, she came in yesterday...just to invite me to her baby shower. i pretty much almost started crying again.

but it's just nice to know every now and again that in this little corner of burlington, i'm kind of making a difference.