a green man

here in argentina, a sketchy old man is called un viejo verde. literally, a green old man. well, today is your lucky day. i am going to define this phrase for you with a story.

to set the stage: our english club is free and for students, but sometimes we get older people that come and we generally don't turn them away. one such old guy came back in June when the summer project was here. he hit on one of the girls all the time and i would try to get her out of these not so fun situations. so, when i was leaving english club at a local cafe, i saw this very same guy out of the corner of my eye, sitting by himself. i try to walk by quickly before he could see me, but no luck.

viejo verde: hola!

jess: hola!
(i reluctantly walk over to hv's table. we greet with kisses on the cheek in Argentina, so i lean my cheek in and he smacks one one me. i almost gag and know from this point on the conversation's not going to be so great)

vv: (he has now switched to his heavily accented english) how are you? are you with your friends?

j: we were just finishing the English Club, we've just started back up.

vv: ah, great! record me your name.

j: jessica?

vv: well, jessica. you are very beautiful.

j: thank you. (i would just like to insert that there is NO WAY his statement is true as i hadn't taken a shower all day and i went straight to english club after a run...)

vv: do you have boyfriend in argentina?

j: no.

vv: you don't want boyfriend?

j: um...not really. i'm leaving in november, so i don't want to complicate things.

vv: don't you need someone to take you dancing? (dances in his seat to make sure i know what he's talking about)

j: i don't really go dancing.

vv: ah, too bad. well, you know if you need something, you can call me. (wink)

j: (throws up a little in her mouth) ok, nos vemos. (walks off)

end scene.

that is a green man, my friends.